Night naps fail.

Can't sleep anymore and taking naps at night is never a good idea.
I remembered this video being taken during CG's retreat, so enjoy the drunken stupidity:


No alcohol for lent is a lot harder than I thought. haha

Look up. Don't worry about a thing. Plain and simple.

Today was a pretty good day. Good friends, good times. Made me miss a few years ago and now I can't wait til the summer. I love the beach, the ocean, and water, period. I really should finally get in Marine Biology after I graduate. Watching and being in the ocean just made me feel better hah. Ok goodnight.

I didn't bring the good camera so you're gonna have to settle with my camera phone, haha.

Practice in the Hot Rooms.

I went to Irvine to visit and ended up doing more than I thought I was going to. Anyways, I should have brought the camera, so instead I took advantage of Carl's MacBook and this is what really happened during practice:


Did you know veterenary grad schools (4 years) costs an average $50,000 a year? Gdamn. Congrats and Goodluck Kim.
Random fact since talking about Kim reminded me of this: If a person is high in Potassium, causing dangerous cardiac dysrhythmias, you can inject insulin and glucose to lower the potassium level. haha.

Another fact of the day: Cirrhosis

• Cirrhosis is a chronic progressive disease of the liver characterized by degeneration and destruction of the liver parenchymal cells. It is the fourth leading cause of death in persons between 35-54 years of age. One type is Alcoholic Cirrhosis, also called portal or nutritional cirrhosis. The first change in the liver from excessive alcohol intake is an accumulation of fat in the liver cells. Uncomplicated fatty changes in the liver are potentially reversible if the person stops drinking alcohol.
  
• In cirrhosis, the liver cells attempt to regenerate following cell damage and necrosis, but the regenerative process is disorganized, resulting in abnormal blood vessel and bile duct structure. Eventually the irregular, disorganized regeneration, poor cellular nutrition, and hypoxia caused by inadequate blood flow and scar tissue result in decreased liver function.
  
• Early manifestations include anorexia, dyspepsia [heartburn], flatulence, nausea and vomiting, and change in bowel habits. In addition, fever, lassitude, abdominal pain, slight weight loss, and elargeent of the liver and spleen may occur.
  
  ...So, watch the alcohol kids. Goodnight.

Just Listen.

I don't want to make any decisions right now. So let me just reminisce so I don't make the same mistakes.

Incomparable. I'm glad you're happy. =]
-One hundred and one.

Yes, I do have a room.

Just because people rarely go to my house, doesn't mean I don't have one. haha here you go since you guys never see it and keep making fun of me. haha
Peace out. I'll blog later.

CG You Know! on three..

Everyday I wonder if I made the right decision.I miss you guys =]

Thoughts

So lately I've been thinking a lot.
Thinking of thoughts such as: did I do the right thing? Could I have done anything different? Should I have not? Should I? Why do I keep going when I already know what's going to happen? Who's still there? Who's going to save me if I can't? Where is this going? Where am I going? What am I supposed to do? Am I not being rational? What else? What should I be feeling? etc. etc.
I don't know why I'm completely confused. I thought I had everything under control. I was so sure of myself that I was completely fine recently, but suddenly these thoughts just come rushing in. I just don't know what I want anymore, everywhere. Well, there are still things I want, but some of those are ones I cannot have or is going to take a lot more work to obtain.
It's funny and annoying that I know what I shouldn't be doing or feeling, and yet, I still do and sometimes even more than before...ultimately leaving to an even more disappointment. I know I'm looking for the right things in the wrong places and what kills me is that I know it to begin with.
I would love to learn from past mistakes, but, for some reason, I usually don't. I should follow the advice I give to some people, haha.
I feel that I'm not making the best choices mainly because I just don't know anymore and don't know what I want. I guess I know what I want, but what I want isn't anywhere.
And no, this isn't just about relationships. It's just an overall perspective of what I see right now.
Don't get me wrong, not everything is bad. I'm grateful for the great things I have. They're [family and friends] are they only ones keeping me sane and keep me going. I appreciate everything and everything that has happened, good or bad. I guess I'm just waiting for myself to realize who I need to be and what I need to do or for someone that can show me who I can be and what I can do. hah. we'll see. So that's about half of what's bothering me...next half..some other time I guess. goodnight.