Thoughts

So lately I've been thinking a lot.
Thinking of thoughts such as: did I do the right thing? Could I have done anything different? Should I have not? Should I? Why do I keep going when I already know what's going to happen? Who's still there? Who's going to save me if I can't? Where is this going? Where am I going? What am I supposed to do? Am I not being rational? What else? What should I be feeling? etc. etc.
I don't know why I'm completely confused. I thought I had everything under control. I was so sure of myself that I was completely fine recently, but suddenly these thoughts just come rushing in. I just don't know what I want anymore, everywhere. Well, there are still things I want, but some of those are ones I cannot have or is going to take a lot more work to obtain.
It's funny and annoying that I know what I shouldn't be doing or feeling, and yet, I still do and sometimes even more than before...ultimately leaving to an even more disappointment. I know I'm looking for the right things in the wrong places and what kills me is that I know it to begin with.
I would love to learn from past mistakes, but, for some reason, I usually don't. I should follow the advice I give to some people, haha.
I feel that I'm not making the best choices mainly because I just don't know anymore and don't know what I want. I guess I know what I want, but what I want isn't anywhere.
And no, this isn't just about relationships. It's just an overall perspective of what I see right now.
Don't get me wrong, not everything is bad. I'm grateful for the great things I have. They're [family and friends] are they only ones keeping me sane and keep me going. I appreciate everything and everything that has happened, good or bad. I guess I'm just waiting for myself to realize who I need to be and what I need to do or for someone that can show me who I can be and what I can do. hah. we'll see. So that's about half of what's bothering me...next half..some other time I guess. goodnight.